It’s breathtaking to see what’s erupting in rapid succession in every corner of our society. Sometimes even festering sores that have long since been exposed. But sometimes it seems necessary for even the obvious to be thrown in our faces before we take notice. Especially in the seemingly endless jungle of misogyny, sexual violence, abuse, unequal treatment of women, etc.
The thicket is virtually impenetrable; you can no longer see the trees. Until you really look—look more closely, that is—prompted, at the very latest, by recent horror stories like those of Epstein, Pelicot, and Ulmen. And perhaps finally look deeper, as in the case of the Austrian Weißmann affair. Then you recognize not only the rotten trees, but even the decaying roots.
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This is neither new nor are these “isolated cases,” even if they are spectacular events. Rather, such “spectacular isolated incidents” seem to be possible only because they thrive on structurally contaminated ground. Abundantly fertilized by the undeniably exemplary actions of figures like the orange scarecrow in the White House, some of this even feels like a step backward. It is to be feared that this is not merely a feeling.
And that brings us straight to the heart of the matter: “What should we do?”
Undoubtedly, no stone should be left unturned, and no effort spared, to remedy the situation in every practical way—starting with bold structural change and immediate intervention. Immediately, here and now, without exception. Direct anger, shame, and responsibility where they belong: toward the perpetrators. And toward the men who look the other way, too—a term that, unfortunately, must be gendered.
But the root cause runs deep, and it can only be addressed there. We are dealing here with a cultural, long-standing problem that, like all such issues, is rooted in the underlying narrative. It is there—and only there—that effective solutions can ultimately be found.
The story that shapes us
As I see it, this issue is also shaped by a pervasive dualism that sets the tone, finding resonance and an echo chamber alike within the collective existential vacuum, and ultimately spreading into a ludicrous narrative of “true masculinity.” With all the disturbing consequences that this entails—the conditions mentioned above being foremost among them.
For if, in our collective narratives, we continue to celebrate everything with masculine connotations—such as strength, power, victory, dominance, control, and outdoing others—as desirable traits, while dismissing their opposites as flawed weaknesses, we can assume that nothing will change and that we will forever clap our hands over the heads of individual cases that are not really individual cases. (Whether this is, on the whole, anything but good for men is a question for another time.)
We face the difficult and protracted task of cultural change. Difficult and protracted, yet already achieved in other areas. For example, corporal punishment as a well-intentioned parenting method has long since ceased to be part of the accepted educational toolkit used to raise children to be God-fearing individuals.
Undoubtedly, it always comes down to the values through which we view women, but at the same time—and even more so—it’s about the completely out-of-control, stale narratives about “real masculinity.” It’s about what we understand and recognize as true strength, what ideals we follow, what we respect, and what we condemn. It’s about guidance through values, in short, about the narrative that shapes our culture.
If dualism forms the underlying noise of these narratives, if “good versus evil” dictates our thinking, and if “we” are naturally always the good guys—if we fail to understand that inspiring, empowering, motivating, and encouraging one another are the true, nourishing signs of strength, rather than defeating, shaming, fighting, finishing off, and humiliating—as long as this persists, dominance and destruction will continue to dictate our actions in the looming, oppressive gloom. Not just in the misogynistic swamp.
From a minor bump to a global sensation
This behavior starts with the cringeworthy catchphrase “Boys will be boys” and shoving others aside on the subway. It leads to a reflexive “I don’t give a damn” attitude toward nature and the environment as soon as it involves the slightest sacrifice, and continues with bullying, exclusion, and the abuse of children and those entrusted to our care. It’s not far from there to acting, failing to act, or looking the other way in refugee crises. And it all ends in the bombardment of the Middle East or Ukraine and the genocides in Sudan or Myanmar. Right in the middle of it all is every form of misogyny imaginable, in all its ugly and distorted forms.
They say that the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. In the dominant narratives of our culture, this “one thing” is always directed against the “other”—against those others whom we judge and, as a rule, devalue.
As things stand, we haven’t come very far beyond the law of the jungle. In the myriad forms it takes today, it merely looks more palatable; it creeps in on velvet paws, cleverly disguised.
An education system that truly lived up to its name—rather than being preoccupied with turning children into credit card holders, human resources, and consumers—would fully embrace its responsibility in this regard. For where else are girls and boys to learn that a “real man” is not someone who beats others (especially the weaker ones) with a club, but a gentleman, a gentle man? Teaching this within families alone will not suffice. Not least because children spend less and less time there, and all too often there is a lack of role models worth emulating—though there is no shortage of those affected and victims, if the statistics are to be believed. I fear we must… Are we experiencing something like original sin here, a collective transgenerational trauma?
Where is the teachers' uprising? Where is the guiding hand of policymakers? Are they all shirking their duties, or have I missed something?
Civil society is being called upon. The message is unmistakable. An alarm bell is ringing.
The Power of New Stories
The many organizations, for example, that constantly emphasize their importance to the community—often quite rightly so—would, if they were serious about it, be given a new mission from which all participants, whether officials or members, could draw a sense of purpose and meaning. Sports clubs, including their fan clubs, the Red Cross, marching bands, volunteer fire departments…
Oh, right—there’s also the business world! Those organizations where countless people spend a large part of their day. I’m deliberately leaving out everything related to promoting diversity, shattering glass ceilings, and closing the pay gap. That’s long overdue anyway.
Rather, I am concerned with the culture-shaping, highly influential power of the economy as the most powerful narrative machine of our time.
For one thing, the masculine-positive attributes mentioned above are found in every thought in business jargon that is driven by the pursuit of market share, growth, and profit, and they should be removed from the lexicon as soon as possible.
But secondly: Wouldn’t it be a fantastic opportunity to bring all the bright minds together and come up with clever campaigns, so that the public discourse—funded by billions in advertising—is filled with something more meaningful than telling people they’re incomplete if they don’t buy this or that stuff? “Purpose” is already being shouted from the rooftops of corporate headquarters everywhere. Just listen to yourselves.
Give them wings!
#BelieveInYourself!
Living better together.
I’m lovin’ it.
Make it your project!
Yes: Make it your project, and don’t just stop at posters, social media posts, and billboards. Those are necessary, but make sure there’s momentum—from the inside out. You, dear marketing and communications community, can do that better than anyone else.
Don’t just talk about “our values” and then go on about “putting people first” and “sustainability.” No one’s listening to you anymore anyway. Instead, show what you can do. Show who you are. Show who we could be, and demonstrate what needs to be done. And don’t stop just because the necessary changes don’t immediately translate into a direct boost to your shareholder value. Because it’s still necessary even then.
What if we used the momentum of the economy to reshape our narratives of values, reverse course, reinterpret strength, and thereby enrich our view of humanity with concepts such as inclusion, authority, inclusion, sharing and participation, encounter, healing, inspiring, holistic, caring, complementarity, potential, development, enabling, we, unfolding, empowerment, respect, consideration, connectedness, meaning, vulnerability, mindfulness?
What if, starting now, we defined values like these as strengths—as our greatest potential—because they set us apart from all other living beings, including AI? After all, the values we associate with the feminine and instinctively, unconsciously link to weakness are, in fact, deeply and uniquely human strengths, because when we live by them, they empower us all. They are our only chance.
Not just on International Women’s Day, not just on Equal Pay Day. Not just when we slap pink ribbons on our ads at the last minute and support charity events. Do that too, of course—please don’t stop. But above all, let’s pull the rug out from under those shitty narratives about what a “real man” is supposed to be. Don’t just talk them away.
Before anything changes, the underlying narrative about what we believe always changes first—regardless of whether it’s true or not. It has always been this way.
So as long as we don’t correct this narrative, we will continue to ask ourselves—along with Herbert Grönemeyer—“When is a man a man?” and give the wrong answers. That much is certain.
But when we do, we weave the fabric of new narratives—ones that empower us as individuals, as businesses, and as a society. They speak of a genuine interconnectedness of everything within everything, in all its diversity; of boundless cooperation, even—and especially—in situations of antagonism.
As if wished for by all good spirits, new sub-narratives and beliefs such as:
Mentors are the new heroes.
For each other is the new against each other.
Spirit is the new reason.
Being is the new having.
Shaping the world is the new work.
Purpose is the new profit.
Success is the new winning.
Depth is the new more.
When companies create value there, they build resilient relationships with employees and customers because they both give and receive meaning.
That would be the case. That would be a stroke of luck. Let’s not be naive—we’ll never be able to avoid unbearable “isolated incidents.” But they would remain just that, rather than pitiful attempts to gloss over systemic failure.
As always: “New Story. New Glory.” Please spread the word!